I recently bought the audiobook, The Body Is Not An Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love and have been making it a priority to fully understand and practice radical self-love – something I had never heard of just two years ago.
After recently spraining my ankle and tearing my rotator cuff during what I thought was a minor slip down the stairs, I was forced to sit down! When it happened, I was headed out, and despite the pain I kept going. Not only did I keep going about my day, but I didn’t even tend to the pain when I came home. In fact, it took six days before I even went to the doctor, and by that time, my right ankle couldn’t bear any weight and the pain in my right arm was so severe that I couldn’t even lift it. I cared so little about myself that I didn’t even acknowledge my own pain, nor did I do anything to care for myself – including asking for help.
Once the imaging report came back, and I was given a sling for my shoulder and a boot for my right ankle, I had no choice but to sit down, take care of myself, and ask for help. I was tired, but literally felt like I couldn’t stop. This experience set the stage for my 6pm bedtimes! While I don’t actually go to sleep, I get in the bed and rest. Because I was so out of touch with my own body and so dismissive about my own pain, I had to have a talk with myself. This body, this temple I reside in deserves more. More love, care, concern, tenderness, and rest. This body is all I have and I am worth taking care of. Self-care goes beyond doing something nice for yourself, it really is an acknowledgement, an affirmation of your value – your humanity. You literally put a stake in the ground when you actively care for yourself and acknowledge that you matter.
We are constantly being battered with a barrage of shame and self-loathing inducing messages. Our capitalist culture runs on our insecurities. And, it’s really hard to love yourself when society constantly pumps out products that are designed to encourage you to change something about yourself.
So, here I am, two months later and I’m focused on two things, resting and tuning-in to my inside voice. I am careful about how I talk to and about myself – which hasn’t always been the case. I am actively working to silence the negative self-talk I’ve grown accustomed to using, which is really a reflection of the world we live in and is not rooted in truth. The voices that work tirelessly to reduce me to nothing and exploit my insecurities, DO NOT matter. What I say about me does and I no longer wish to be different. I no longer want to look like someone else. I love me. I am enough. These are my affirmations.
A good friend of mine used to say “you need to learn to love the body you’re in because you’re gonna be in it for a long time. This is one of the truest things I’ve ever heard.
My body is not an apology. Periodt.
