There are numerous things that I’ve wanted to do, but to be honest with you, I’ve not moved them forward for one reason or another. My biggest drivers have been fear, not feeling qualified enough, not knowing where to start, lack of money, not feeling like I have enough time. I could actually go on-and-on with a litany of excuses, but I’m sure you get my drift. It’s almost like I think I’m going to live twice. I’m not sure if I believe in reincarnation. But, let’s just say for a moment that I will. The problem is, I can’t shake the feeling that there are things I am supposed to do in this lifetime.
Lives Remaining: Zero, ~Alexis Ohanian. I never thought in a million years I’d ever quote Alexis Ohanian, not because I don’t think he’s an incredible businessman or that he didn’t make the best decision of his life when he married Serena Williiams; it’s simply because I just don’t know enough about him to be a fan/follower per se. I literally mentioned the only two things that I know about him. I’m more likely to quote Lady O, than I am him, but yet here we are! I stumbled upon this quote recently that resonated with me. Ohanian’s quote “live remaining: zero,” coupled with the following quote by Chadwick Boseman – “take your time, but don’t waste your time,” had me thinking about the value of time. I had to ask myself, why on earth have you wasted so much time? Time is the most valuable, non-renewable resource we have. There are numerous things that I’ve wanted to do, but to be honest with you, I’ve not moved them forward for one reason or another. My biggest drivers have been fear, not feeling qualified enough, not knowing where to start, lack of money, not feeling like I have enough time. I could actually go on-and-on with a litany of excuses, but I’m sure you get my drift. It’s almost like I think I’m going to live twice. I’m not sure if I believe in reincarnation. But, let’s just say for a moment that I will. The problem is, I can’t shake the feeling that there are things I am supposed to do in this lifetime.
After feeling like I wasn’t living the life I wanted the past several years, and having a serious health scare that almost cost me my life, I just felt like something had to change. I was simply not happy with the status-quo and thought about James Baldwin’s “what happens to a dream deferred?” Every time I’ve deferred a dream, it felt like I was carrying a heavy load – until the dream was fulfilled.
So, now what? What can you do if you find yourself in a similar situation to mine, and by similar, I mean – you just don’t feel in complete alignment with your purpose or you have not tapped into or moved on the thing(s) that you feel God put inside you to share with the world. Perhaps you know what it is, but you haven’t completed things that you’ve started or you’ve just never started. Wherever you find yourself on this spectrum, I will tell you what Ava DuVernay told me.
The first thing you can do is “start with what you have.”
I know, I know!! It sounds so simple, right? And, yet it’s not simple because you may not even know what that means as it relates to your dreams or purpose. We are all starting in different places. What I mean by that is, if you want to be an independent filmmaker, but you don’t have a camera, you are starting from a different place than I am because I already have a camera. However, if you listen to the inspiring words of our gorgeous, smart, sister Ava, you can use what you have in your hand – which in this case, could be an IPhone, and take the first step. Dats it! This is called using what you have. This is something I am still learning. Each time I hear her say it, it serves as a great reminder to me and I hope it will be to you as you embark on whatever journey your life is taking you.
Along with that, you don’t need anyone’s permission – just start. Let me say it one more time for the people in the back – you don’t need anyone’s permission. I’ve been thinking about this one a lot because I realize as a black woman from the south, the cultural nuances of being in a southern black family and the entire American system has conditioned me to ask for permission. Let me give you some examples. In childhood, I had to ask for permission to do every single thing – even open the refrigerator. I know it sounds normal as the majority of us have been indoctrinated to do the same. I had to apply to attend college. I had to apply to each job I’ve ever had. It kind of feels like you can’t do anything, without asking someone to accept or approve you, or give you permission. The subject of permission is something I’d like to dive deeper into another time, but let this be a primer.
The third thing you can do is finish. Yes, finish something. It doesn’t have to be your best piece of work and it certainly doesn’t have to be your final product or draft, but there is something that lies in the completion. You reinforce to yourself that you can do it.
Last, but not least – believe. There’s only one person that knows the dreams that are inside of and also knows what you are capable of, and that person is you. And if you believe in God, there are two people. But, either way, you get my drift. Once you share your dreams with people, there will be naysayers. None of them matter. What they say does not matter. Stay laser focused on you and your internal voice and let it lead the way.
I am in no way advocating that you participate in the grind culture in which we’ve grown up. I’m literally talking about getting in alignment with your purpose and fulfilling it one step at a time.
